I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
