I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
