Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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