So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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