How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
