Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can't special order awesome
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
