Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
