Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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