you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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