Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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