Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
