Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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