the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
