He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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