More tranny stories later!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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