ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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