Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
