dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
