I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
