Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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