I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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