CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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