im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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