...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
