PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
