I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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