Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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