i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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