Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
