You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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