But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
