not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
