maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize