Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
