Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
