I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't deserve a penis
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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