Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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