i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
