I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
did you just send me my own nude
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
