I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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