So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
