last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
