I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize