The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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