You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
