North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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