I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
