slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
