I bet he comes in French.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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