Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
