omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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