Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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