I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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