Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We just shotgunned beers for America
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Vodka?
Forever.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
