His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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