Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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