Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
