We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize