So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
