I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
