Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
