I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Randomize
