Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
