I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
