no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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