I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize