Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
