forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
